Ahhh...sweet youth

The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute

Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator

Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked on the weed

and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed

And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit

Let's go hit the

Nitro-burning funny bong

Just one hit, your life goes wrong

Nitro-burning funny bong

Another stupid stoner song

Fat and lame

The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed

By a bong, and a schlong

Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong

My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased

Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees

A swarm of narcotics could get me through this

My manager's gonna be pissed

Let's go hit the

Nitro-burning funny bong

Just one hit, your life goes wrong

Nitro-burning funny bong

Another stupid stoner song

Oh, can you take it

Yeah, do a monster

Oh, can you deal with it?

We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys

Now I'm old

Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold

In the twilight of my years I am still a drug addict

I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong

Moistened with lotion, wrapped in a sarong

I live like a king but you know that I act like a faggot

Once was a warrior, now just a sponge

High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge

My glorious destiny it turned to shit

Can I get another hit?

From the

Nitro-burning funny bong

Just one hit, your life goes wrong

Nitro-burning funny bong

Another stupid stoner song

Oh, can you take it

Yeah, do a monster

Oh, can you deal with it?

We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys